Singing, Silence, and Heart Songs

The other night I had the opportunity to share with my Creative Team the reason that we sing in church. I believe we easily forget why we actually sing when we gather as the Church. We become jaded by our personal preference, our stylistic choices, and the mundane and routine of church life. Before we know it we find ourselves no longer engaging with the corporate body through song.

Ephesians 5:18-20 says, “And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart, giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ”

I want to take a few minutes of your time and share three reasons that I believe we should sing in our corporate gatherings.

Firstly, we sing because we are commanded to.

Christine Cain said at Passion 2017, “Obedience to the Word is not legalism”. Please hear my heart behind this, singing because we are commanded to is not legalistic, it’s being obedient to God.

Psalm 95:1-2 says,

“Come, let us sing to the Lord!

Let us shout joyfully to the Rock of our salvation.

Let us come to Him with thanksgiving.

Let us sing psalms of praise to Him.”

Psalms 96:1-2 carries the thought with,

“Sing a new song to the Lord!

Let the whole earth sing to the Lord!

Sing to Him; praise His name.”

Psalms 98:1,4-6 continues with,

“Sing a new song to the Lord,

For He has done wonderful deeds.

Shout to the Lord, all the earth;

Break out in praise and sing for joy!

Sing your praise to the Lord with your harp

With the harp and melodious song,

With trumpets and the sound of the ram’s horn.

Make a joyful symphony before the Lord, the King!”

The invitation to sing is scattered throughout scripture. The people of God have always been a singing people. It’s who we are! This is not a new thing we are doing, it’s the way that believers have responded for generations. I believe God commands us to sing because He knows that when we sing we are reminded of His faithfulness, His goodness, His sovereignty, and His authority in every season of our lives.

Can I encourage us to sing? Can I encourage us to move past our personal preferences and lift our voices in song to the One who is worthy?

Secondly, we sing because there is a horizontal spiritual impact taking place.

Paul says, “be filled with the Spirit addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs”. The word Address means: to speak, preach, say, talk, tell, utter. We have an opportunity to build up those around us by the words we are singing together.

I’m going to make some assumptions about my readers right now.  My assumptions are that the majority of Christians who have taken the time to read this are not baby Christians.  My assumption is that you’ve been saved for years, that you’ve been baptized,  led a small group or served on a leadership board.  If that’s you - what a huge responsibility and privilege you have to encourage other believers around you.  And haven’t you heard? The  person two rows ahead was just diagnosed with cancer and they need to know that God is the healer.  Proclaim it for their ears to hear. “Our God is healer, awesome in power!” We sing because our brother fell back into sin this week. He needs to know that God still loves him and that the blood of Jesus covers his sin… “No secret, no sickness, no chain is strong enough to keep us from your love”. We sing because our sister  is struggling with an addiction or drowning in debt, and she needs to know that she is more than a conqueror in Jesus Christ! “We are more than conquerors in Christ.  You have overcome this world, this life..”  We sing because people around us are hurting, depressed, questioning if God is good, and walking through a valley of death.  If you’re not the one in that place, you have the great privilege and obligation to lift up the ones around you who are. By declaring the truths of God through song, your brothers and sisters are encouraged, and their faith is built up.

You never know the spiritual impact that is taking place when you make a choice to open your mouth and sing.

Can I encourage us to sing? Can I encourage us to move past our personal preferences and lift our voices in song to the One who is worthy?

Lastly, we sing because there is a vertical spiritual impact taking place.

Paul writes, “Making a melody to the Lord with your heart”. I believe God has placed a song in each of our hearts. I believe He has given us a melody to sing back to Him. I believe He delights in hearing the songs of our heart.

Here’s the thing, God doesn’t need our worship, He is not dependent upon whether or not we sing. But He desires to hear melodies born out of our heart for Him. I believe He desires to hear his Church, in unity, with one voice, lifting His name.  Not just a couple people who sing all the specials, or a well-rehearsed choir, but his Church. His people - excluding no one. He is not concerned with the quality of our voices, He’s concerned with the condition of our hearts. Jesus said, “out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks.” What’s in our hearts? Are they the thoughts of God or the pride of flesh…?

I Believe we lack joy in our lives because we don’t sing. I really do. Singing, especially singing a heart song that God has given you, moves the heart of God. When God is moved, He responds. See, this beautiful exchange is taking place when children are singing to their Father, when the Bride is singing to her Bridegroom, when the saints are singing to their Savior. Intimacy is born out of those moments. Joy is born out of intimacy with God. If you want to grow in intimacy, learn how to sing the song of your heart.

Church, can I encourage us to sing when we gather? Can I encourage us to sing because God knows it will remind us of who He is? Can I encourage us to sing for those around us? Can I encourage us to sing the songs of our hearts? Can I encourage us to raise anthems of worth to the One who is worthy?

May we sing and not be silent about the glory and worth of Jesus!

The Father's Table

THE TABLE

I grew up in a rather large family. By “rather large” I mean there were 11 kids. Yes, my parents were crazy enough to have 11 children. And yes, they know about birth control. Seriously though, you would think that by the time the fourth child came along (me) that they would have gotten the hint that we were a strong-willed, rowdy bunch of kids. My dad jokes about the fact that they kept going for the perfect child… He said it’s yet to happen.

As our family grew, our dining room table became more and more crowded. As you can imagine, it takes a large table to host 13 individuals every morning at breakfast. At some point my parents realized the need for a larger table. I guess the alternative was to stop having children, but they were still under the illusion that perfection could be achieved, so a larger table it was.

It was October, and the plan for us to purchase the new table was to pick up walnuts as a family. So we packed up in the ole 15-passenger and went for it.  We’d drive around and Mom would spot a walnut grove or a tree in someone's  yard, so we’d stop and ask the property owners if we could pick up their walnuts. I was embarrassed embarrassed as a kid because it seemed so desperate. But we did it. We picked up 20,000 lbs of hulled walnuts. We worked in the rain, in the heat, in the fun, in the exhaustion. We didn’t stop until walnut season was over. Our hands became stained, our backs hurt, and we never wanted to see another walnut tree again.

Post walnut season the new table was purchased. It was like Christmas morning at our house, excitement all around! The chairs and benches newly stained. And the table large enough to host everyone with elbow room to spare. It was ours. The Kent family table. And we each had a place at our new table.

THE NAME

I love going home to my parents’. The rush of childhood memories is imminent as we pull into the drive. Everything from the  smell of pancakes and black Folger’s coffee to the crisp breeze in the air takes me back to early mornings, family devotionals, and movies on Sunday nights. It’s a fresh reminder of who I am: a Kent.

Names have the potential to carry weight with them. There’s power and identity in them. Sometimes we stand on the shoulders of the last generation and build.  One generation builds into the next, all with the same identity found in the family name. My family name has meaning and purpose to it. It carries with it the identity of a large family, hard workers, creative individuals, and a commitment to others. We have little choice in the imposition others place on us due to our family name. I am a Kent and proud of it. My parents carried the name Kent well.

Here’s the best part about being a Kent though: I belong at my parents’ table. Let that sink in. I always have a place at my parents’ table. I belong there simply because I am their son. I did nothing to deserve a spot at their table. They’ve never made me pay for a spot at their table. I naturally belong there because of who I am and knowing whose I am. I am the son of Bob and Jan Kent.

THE MEAL

My mom is an amazing cook! Growing up I never wondered if she was going to burn our dinner, if breakfast would be awful, or if lunch would be fast food. She always had food prepared for us.

Growing up our table hosted many meals; meals my mom would prepare for us, meals we kids would help prepare. Breakfast and dinner we would gather, as a family around the table, and share a meal together. We would talk about the activities of the day while eating what was before us. Some meals were rushed, others would linger on for hours. This was life. This was our family, sitting around the table, eating, talking, singing, reading, praying, crying, sharing news, and speaking of the future.

As an adult, I love what my parents instilled in me. Family is meant to gather together and eat together. Sit. Be in the moment. Wait until everyone is finished. Be present and enjoy the food and the company of those around you.

THE FATHER’S TABLE

I believe our Heavenly Father has a table as well.  At this table we, who bear His name, have a place. We gather and share a meal together, with the Father at the head sharing his  goodness, mercy, grace, love, peace. There is laughter at the table as the dishes are passed.  We share about our day, our brothers and sisters encourage us and the Father wipes our tears. He invites us to gather around and share with Him all that He has prepared for us. We come together because He has invited us, and we are His.

There are no limits as to who is invited or how many may come. It was not built by us. We did nothing to earn a place. We didn’t pay for the table, the meal, or our name. Our Father made the table. Our Father prepared the meal. Our Father made us His children through His son Jesus. We simply accept the invitation and come.

I like to imagine that our corporate gatherings (you may call it “Church”) are His table moments for us here on Earth. We gather because He has invited us. “Hey, come share a meal with Me. Come. Sit. Enjoy what I have prepared for you.” He invites us into a conversation with Him. “How’s life? What’s been going on? How is the job I gave you? How is the family I have placed around you?” You can almost hear Him saying, “Why didn’t you bring them? They have a place here too. I really wish you would have brought them.”

So we gather around the table, but we often sit there acting like there is nothing set before us  worth having. We fail to feast on His goodness, mercy, love, and grace. We act like we have all we need. We pretend He is not even there. We gather. We sit. We endure the hour and fifteen minutes gathered around the table and we can’t wait to leave and get back to our lives. And the whole time our Father sits there, excited that His children have come to share in what He has prepared for us.

What would our table moments look like if we came with a proper perspective and healthy expectation? I imagine excitement, joy, laughter, wonder, amazement, and transformation. I imagine a heart of service toward our brother or sister in the row, an understanding that all belong here regardless of (insert whatever your bias is) and an excitement to bring anyone and everyone with us!  We gather together, as brothers and sisters, and  eagerly wait to see what our Father has prepared. Our expectation becomes one of constantly knowing He will show us more of who He is and who we are in His eyes.

Everything changes when we understand we are sitting at the table of our Father; a Father who prepares the absolute best for His children and desires for us to just sit with Him. He never leaves us hungry but always leaves us wanting more.  And in the midst of our apathy, He continually says, “I love you. Are you listening? I love you. I love you for no other reason other than I just love you.”

An Audience With A King

Often some of the most influential teachings we hear are principles taught by someone further on the journey than us. Robert Fergusson is a teaching pastor at Hillsong Church and an instructor at Hillsong International Leadership College.  He is one of the wisest, passionate teachers I've ever had the privilege of sitting under; and he's not afraid to tell the congregation a hard truth that they won't like. These are some notes I took from one of his sermons, so I'm just the messenger here. I do not take credit for anything shared, but simply want to pass it on to you. 

"An Audience With A King. "

There are basic principles which potentially carry from one person's life to another. I believe this is one of those principles. It's a principle we can trace back to the Old Testament in the book of Exodus. The Israelites have been brought out of Egypt and were traveling in the wilderness. We pick up the story in Exodus 33 before the Tabernacle is built, before Moses writes the Ten Commandments on the stone tablets, and before the Law is clearly given.

"Now Moses used to take the tent and pitch it outside the camp, far off from the camp, and he called it the tent of meeting. And everyone who sought the Lord would go out to the tent of meeting, which was outside the camp. Whenever Moses went out to the tent, all the people would rise up, and each would stand at his tent door, and watch Moses until he had gone into the tent. When Moses entered the tent, the pillar of cloud would descend and stand at the entrance of the the tent, and the Lord would speak with Moses. And when all the people saw the pillar of cloud standing at the entrance of the tent, all the people would rise up and worship, each at his tent door. Thus the Lord used to speak to Moses face to face, as a man speaks to his friend. When Moses turned again into the camp, his assistant Joshua  the son of Nun, a young man, would not depart from the tent." -Exodus 33:7-11

So here's the question we have to ask:  Why did Moses meet with God? Why is this story inserted into the story of Israel's exodus and becoming God's covenant people? I believe we find three key reasons Moses met with God. 

1. Moses was a pilgrim - Moses lived in a tent. He had a temporary residence which was on a journey towards the promise land. Moses' focus was on the destination. He didn't build a permanent structure to meet with God.

We meet with God because we are to fix our eyes on the unseen, the eternal, the promise of what is to come. 2 Corinthians 4:18 says, "So we don't look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever." When we read our Bibles, pray, and worship, we are reminding ourselves that we are a spiritual people. We are focusing on the unseen and what is to come. Philippians 3:20 reminds us, "But our citizenship is in heaven..." We are pilgrims in this world journeying towards the promise given.  

2. Moses was a shepherd - Shepherds live in tents. There is a big difference in the Old Testament between a shepherd and a farmer. Farmers built permanent structures and were self-sufficient with their lives. Shepherds were God-dependent.

Great leaders in the Bible were often shepherds; Moses, David, and Jesus himself said He was the good shepherd (John 10:11).We have to align our lives with The Shepherd. We have to become God-dependent not self-sufficient. Is meeting with the Shepherd a priority for you? Are you living out of your dependency on God? Or are you self-sufficient within your life?

3. Moses was a prophet - Moses was teaching Israel three essential truths in meeting with God. 

i. This is how you meet with God

ii. You dishonor God when you don't meet with Him

iii. The future of God's people is meeting with Him outside the camp. It's a personal relationship God desires from us. He doesn't want us to live off of second hand experiences in corporate settings. He wants to meet with us "outside the camp". 

We don't just meet with God for ourselves. When we meet with God we are setting an example for future generations. We are living past ourselves when we meet with Him and encounter Him personally. We set the example for our spouse, our children, our grandchildren, and anyone else looking to us. It's living with generational influence set in our hearts. 

This is a Kingdom principle. It's not an Old Testament thing or just a pastoral or leadership thing. It's a Kingdom truth. If you're in God's Kingdom you have to put the King first (Matthew 6:33).

So here's the how to all of this. It's simple, it's basic, and it's exactly what Moses did. 

1. Take your tent - take the time to meet with God. You don't tune up an orchestra after it has played. Take your tent and meet with God. Journal, pray, read the Bible, sing, do whatever it is, but take the time. 

2. Pitch your tent - find a place to meet with Him. Know your place and walk away from what is distracting you. Moses went outside the camp. Get away from the noise, the chaos, the cell phone, the things which are keeping you from God. 

3. Name your tent - naming something changes your attitude for it. Moses named his the tent of meeting. What's your meeting place with God called? Mine is simple, "my time with God". It's not complicated, just name it for what is is; meeting with God. 

When we meet with God we honor Him and empower ourselves. Oswald Sanders said once, "Every one of us is as close to God as he has chosen to be." Meet with the King. Have a daily audience with the King. He wants to meet with you. 

Servant Leadership

I was brought up in the church. It was never a question of, "will we be involved?" it was a question of, "what is there for us to do?" I didn't understand then how my parents were teaching me a very biblical example of leadership. As a young adult I continued to serve in the church in one capacity or another. I would play music, help set up tables for a dinner, get involved in VBS, and so on. I did it because it was how I was raised - serving was who we were.

The past few years God has taken me on a journey of seeing what true biblical leadership looks like. Jesus was the perfect example in every way, and leadership is no exception.  He showed us that leadership beyond words you say and what title you have. Leadership is anchored in being a servant to all. 

The best way I can share this is from a passage found in John 13. We find Jesus nearing the end of His life here on earth. As John writes, "Jesus knew that his hour had come to leave this world and return to his Father." (John 13:1). Jesus knew He was approaching the cross to be the ultimate servant of the world. In this moment, this time known as the Last Supper, we see Jesus teach true leadership. 

"He (Jesus) laid aside His outer garments, and taking a towel, tied it around His waist. Then He poured water into a basin and began to wash the disciples' feet and to wipe them with the towel that was wrapped around Him." -John 13:4-5

1. Jesus laid aside His outer garment: In order to lead we have to become genuine with people.  Lay aside your title and be real with people.  Find out who they are, where they've been, and what they need. Jesus didn't wait for others to serve Him, He served them first. He made himself vulnerable to serve others. Jesus' leadership wasn't about the shiniest name tag, the loudest voice, or having others serve His needs. His leadership was about serving everyone around Him.

2. Jesus took a towel and tied it around His waist: It's not enough to lay aside titles, images, and status to lead others. We have to take something new on; we have to place the title of servant on ourselves. Jesus didn't just lay aside something, He intentionally placed something else on and allowed Himself to be identified with it. 

Leadership is about taking on the title of servant. If you can serve others you already are leading others. In your home, with your wife, with you husband, with your children, are you willing to serve?  How about co-workers? Neighbors? Can you lay aside the title, the position, the attitude to best serve others?

Leadership is not spelled "my way or the highway" but, rather,  "how can I serve you?" 

Expectation

ex.pec.ta.tion \ek-spek-'ta-shen, ik-\

1: the act or state of expecting: anticipation <in expectation of what would happen>

2: the state of being expected 

"Expectation will change your experience."   These words came from one of the wisest instructors that I had the opportunity to sit under at Hillsong.  Even so, I disagreed.  My first thought was, "No they won't. Previous experiences shape my expectations." I will be the first to admit how wrong I was. Our personal expectations have a lot to do with the experiences we will have. 

I've been processing this more and more lately. It's become more of a reality to me with us expecting our first child in May. People's well-meaning "warnings" began to create fear and dread.  Actually, for a short time I questioned whether or not we were ready for this undertaking.  But then I decided to shift my mindset, and my new expectations have started to shape my experience. I'm now enjoying the preparation process- the baby registry, the room decor, the doctor visits. I know I am way out of my league in bringing home a baby. I know we won't know everything we're suppose to do. I know we will miss some areas of preparation and drop the ball here or there. I get it. But my expectation is set: this is going to be awesome!

I know that God is not a vending machine or to be manipulated like a puppet,  "If I do this than You'll do this. If I believe this way You'll move for me in this way." I don't think God works like that. I do think God honors our expectations and continues to reveal Himself when we have God-honoring expectations. If we have little to no expectation of truly encountering God, chances are little to none that He'll move in a big way.

There's a story in the Bible about Elijah and the prophets of Baal. Elijah had an expectation for God to show up in a very big way. Imagine the outcome if Elijah's expectations were shaky and small.  Elijah stepped up, full of faith, believing God would do something only He could do. The rest is history.

"At the time of sacrifice, the prophet Elijah stepped forward and prayed: 'Lord, the God of Abraham, Isaac and Israel, let it be known today that you are God in Israel and that I am your servant and have done all these things at your command. Answer me, Lord, answer me, so these people will know that you,Lord, are God, and that you are turning their hearts back again.'" - 1 Kings 18:36-37

Elijah's expectation was God would answer him and make Himself known to Israel. I love this story. It encourages me to step up into God things. It encourages me to set my expectation of God revealing Himself every week. It gives me confidence God will continue to come through. What happened after Elijah prayed is my favorite part.

"Then the fire of the Lord fell and burned up the sacrifice, the wood, the stones and the soil, and also licked up the water in the trench. When all the people saw this, they fell prostrate and cried, 'The Lord—he is God! The Lord—he is God!'" - 1 Kings 18:38-39

Elijah's expectation of God resulted in people knowing who God was and responding. Expectation changes your experience. So what are you expecting to see God do this week? What are you believing for as a leader of His people? What is your expectation in your own life as you encounter the living God?

Encounter

Last week I shared my heart in worship - I want to lead people to a  place of encountering God. It's not something I just landed on one day or decided sounded good. It's a responsibility and privilege that I feel passionately about based on personal experience. When people encounter their creator, their lives are changed.

Abraham's life changed when he encountered God (Genesis 12). Moses' life was changed when he encountered God (Exodus 3). Samuel, Isaiah, and Jeremiah all had God encounters which altered their lives. The Old Testament is filled with stories of people encountering God and walking away changed. In the New Testament we see lepers, prostitutes, the blind, the lame, and a man bent on destroying the Church, Paul. When each one of these people encountered Jesus their lives changed, their purpose changed, and their eternal focus changed. 

For me it happened in a one bedroom ratty apartment. I was by myself at the time and feeling very alone and depressed. My life was not going in the direction I knew it should be. I was angry, resentful, and depressed. My attitude lead to poor decisions making friends and how I chose to cope with life.  A lot of my time was spent drinking alone, wasted,so I couldn't remember anything. Unhappy with the world and life, anything and everything would throw me into a fit of rage. Nothing in my life resembled a born-again Christian. Even so, by the grace of God, I never walked away from the Church. So here I was, alone, knowing what Christians looked like but not resembling one at all. That day I put in an old "Delirious?" DVD and just sat on my dingy floor staring at the TV screen. At one point the lead singer, Martin Smith, opened up his Bible and began to read.

"He said to me, 'Prophesy over these bones: Dry bones, listen to the Message of God!'"... He went on reading, "Prophecy to the breath. Prophesy, son of man. Tell the breath, 'God, the master, says, come from the four winds. Come, breath. Breathe on these slain bodies. Breathe Life!'"... "So I prophesied just as He commanded me. The breathe entered them and they came alive!" (Ezekiel 37:4, 9-10 MSG)

God met me right in that moment. I encountered Him as those words breathed life into me. My life was changed forever. I had a God encounter, right there, in a crappy apartment with beer cans littering the floor. Worship filled a place where only obscene language, crude jokes, and a looming feeling of loneliness once lived. Worship flew from my lips because in that one moment I encountered Him and He met me where I was. 

I don't take lightly what we do. We have a massive responsibility every single week. I believe with everything in me, when people encounter God their lives are changed for eternity. We bring people into the presence of God where He meets them where they're at. We can't manufacture or replicate God encounters. We can prepare though. We can believe and pray every single day that people will meet Him the way we've met Him. We can step up every week ready to take people to the throne of grace where they meet God.

The Goal

I used to think leading worship was easy. You learn some songs, make sure they flow together, and then stand in front of people and sing. It's easy enough when you don't have a proper perspective on leading worship. God has taken me on a journey the past several years. Along the journey I have learned the weight and responsibility of leading others in worship. There is nothing easy about it. In fact it's one of the most challenging responsibilities I have. 

I am a goal-oriented type guy. Give me a goal and I will figure out a way to reach it. Let me know the direction you want to go and I will start running that way. It's how my brain works. As a kid on family vacations, I would sit with a map figuring out the route my parents were taking and if it was the best way. I know how to plan routes if I know the destination.

Leading people in worship has a Goal: Bringing people to a place of Encountering God.

Here's my struggle: there is not a clear cut road map for the end destination. I can't direct or control the best route. I can't guarantee the outcome is the same every time. My goal can't be manufactured or easily planned. There's no way to even know if people will step in the same direction.

Every day I wake up wondering if people will encounter God the way I have. I wonder if they will stand in His presence and know His goodness and love. I wonder if people will find their satisfaction in Him the way I have. I wonder if they will know God is for them and desires to have a relationship with them. Every day I wonder if I can, in some way, hold the door open for someone to step into His presence.

The Goal: Bringing people to a place of Encountering God

Here's where I am with The Goal. I cannot lead people where I, myself, am not going. I cannot take people to a place of encountering God if I am not encountering Him daily. There is no road map for this. It's about personal devotion to an equally personal God. It's about my worship to my God who loves when I spend time in His presence. It's about a life long journey and allowing God to shape me and use me.

There's nothing easy about leading worship. If it was easy everyone would step up and do it. The hardest part for me is knowing there is not a set route to leading people or a formula I can plug into. It's only through the very real presence of Holy Spirit that people Encounter God, and that's what makes the challenge all worth it.

"Let us with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need." -Hebrews 4:16

-Jasper

Equality Within Responsibility

Ashley and I were sitting around talking the other night and the topic of dating came up. We've been married going on five years now and have been in a relationship for seven. It's so minimal in comparison to others, particularly Ashley's grandparents who are going on 58 years of marriage. Talk about the legacy they have! Anyway,  we’re sitting there discussing dating, specifically the pre-dating phase, and I realized that I'm really frustrated with it.  I just feel like there's a major double-standard that people aren't seeing.  Or if they see it, they're disregarding it as no big deal. Ashley told me to blog about it, so here I go. I say all of this knowing it is merely my opinion and I have a personal bias when it comes to the topic of dating. So take this as my opinion based on my personal life experiences.

Here is the statement I want to make up front: guys and girls should be held to an equal standard  of protecting the other's emotions. We all know the people who are too forward with the opposite sex; too charismatic, too flirtatious. They charm you then harm you and it's all a big game.  They're known as players who casually lead others on - it's all about the chase.  They're the girls that your momma tells you to avoid and the guys your daddy wants to threaten with a shotgun.  We all know them; emotional abusers. As men, we are taught not to be that guy.  You are taught, or more instructed, to treat girls with the utmost respect. Do not be the guy who leads girls on. Do not be the one that leads them into an unsure relationship which has the potential to damage their future marriage. Do not be the guy who plays with girls' emotions. All of this is great and valid and important. I am completely on board with the thought of guys stepping up and leading, protecting, and caring for girls. I accept, as a guy, the part I have played in leading girls on in the past.  But there's a very, very big problem with this.  Girls aren't seemingly being taught from the same rule book.   

 

Girls, for the love of your future husband, STOP misleading guys! There, it’s out. The reason Ashley told me to blog about this. I get so frustrated with guys that are “there for” girls and the girls aren't there in return.  I see young men being vulnerable to girls and putting their emotions on the line only to be disregarded time and time again. These are not the girls that I mentioned in the above paragraph that you'd normally beware of.  These are the girls next door; kind, sweet girls, just being completely oblivious to guys' emotions. Just because dudes play sports and hunt bears and rip their chest hair out to be manly doesn't mean our emotions don't go as deep as yours.  It doesn't mean when you blow us off and we pretend it's no big deal that it doesn't break our hearts a little.  And you need to know that it's a little confusing when you spend 5 evenings a week with us and then suddenly spend Saturday evening out on a date with someone else. Girls...you're leading guys on and you don't even know it.

We guys want to show you who we are, but we don’t want to compete for your attention. We can only live our lives like a contestant on "The Bachelorette" for so long until we call it quits . Our persistence, our attention towards you, our “being there” for you only goes so far. So help us out. Think about what you want in your future husband. You want someone who is always going to be there for you? You want someone who places value in you?  You want someone who will open up to you? Then start now. Begin this journey  before you even think there may be something there with someone. Start by placing an equal responsibility on yourself and your future husband.  Don't give in to charm and attention guys are willing to give you now. Start preparing for the future you want. 

Here’s the reality; we try to do things the way we think you want them to be.  If there’s nothing there on your side, let us know. Stop the cycle of brokenness within relationships by placing a higher value on your future relationship. I completely understand and agree with having friends of the opposite sex. I am all for it. But girls if you think the guys may be getting the wrong idea about it, don’t just say, “Oh I just think of us as friends”. I firmly believe that you should just walk away from it. Save the misconceptions and false leads. It may be painful but it may be what’s best for the guy’s future relationship with his wife. It may be what’s best for both parties.

So here’s the closing thought. You, right now, may be in a friendship with someone else’s (future) husband/ wife. How would you want your future spouse to be being treated at this time? Would you be alright with playing games with their heart ? Or would you want it protected from as much pain and heartache as possible?  Be careful. These are individual’s futures we are talking about here. 

The New Normal

We are officially two and a half months down under! It's crazy when I step back and think about it. We have a new normal, a new pace of life, new relationships, and a new church family. I suspected life would change once we arrived and settled in, but I was not suspecting how quickly I would become used to it. I've become used to people driving on the "wrong" side of the road; in fact we automatically migrate to the left side when walking down the sidewalk! Trashcans are "bins", restrooms are "toilets", and I'm starting to appreciate being called "mate".  Walking or riding my bike is the new normal, as is  hearing "so good" said a minimum of a hundred times a day...(make that 100 times every conversation). One more thing, you know you've made it when you're referred to as a legend over here.  Some of these things are definitely Aussie things, but others might just be Hillsong language.  So we are still in the process of sorting that out.  Anyway, Ashley and I have settled  into this season of our life and have begun to really enjoy it.

We live in a house with five girls. A Norwegian, a Mexican, a very British Albanian, and two other Americans. All creative students studying in different areas. There always seems to be singing going on, some dancing, a lot of laughter, and even more cooking.  It's a bit like a family in the house, which is a blessing. Ashley and I wonder what we will do when we no longer live with people. We will then have to begin talking to each other again. I mean how do married couples tolerate each other all the time? Anyway, we feel blessed to have such a great group of girls living with us.  Disclaimer:  This paragraph has all  negative emotions omitted because our housemates will be reading this blog.  Thank you.

School is really great. I absolutely love the classes that I have. Song writing by far is the highlight and yet also the most challenging. It consists of writing a song a week, working with melodies, and creative writing. By the most challenging, I mean it really has stretched me. I have learned to step back and look at my own music objectively and think about what's best for the song. In the workshop we spend time writing and sharing our music. It is so difficult. You should try it some time. You have 60 min to generate a melody and throw some lyrics with it, all the while not using an instrument. Oh by the way you also have to share it with your whole class. Enjoy! In all seriousness it's been amazing though. I have become very intentional about what I feel like God is trying to communicate through the music He has given me. I just approach it now as, "I'll give it a go". It's the Aussie way.

Let's see what else... I have begun to appreciate what I was so formerly used to in life. Things like having two cars (I would be happy with just a crappy one now), Taco bell, going to the movies, hanging out with Ashley's grandfolks on Thursday nights, and most of all American coffee. I miss that. Coffee here is different. I don't really know how to explain it, it's just different.  And it's not that there's not movie theaters and fun things to do - but everything is painfully expensive.  Ashley and I dropped $39 going to the movies for Valentine's Day.  No that didn't include popcorn.  No that didn't include nachos, or a soda, or games in the arcade. Just the movie tickets. So I have gained an appreciation for what was just normal about life. I understand that normal is always changing, thus making nothing normal but just seasons of change. Still, I do miss some things about back home.

Ashley is working at a cafe by the school. She has been able to work consistently five days a week. She seems to enjoy it. She's learning how to make coffee and is gaining an appreciation for Australian coffee because her boss makes her drink a cup every shift. She will also brings home some great food sometimes which is awesome. Since she's working with the locals, she's picked up a bit of the Aussie way of saying things.  Some examples are "How you going?" (How's it going?) ", "no worries" (in response to "thank you"),  and "I'm sorry?" (instead of "what?"),. I personally am not use to their phraseology yet.

The church here is great! I never take for granted being planted in this House at this time. We've heard some incredible speakers, been a part of the new Hillsong recording, but most of all learing to embrace the Kingdom attitude here. There is this overarching attitude of, "Welcome Home". It runs through every area of church life. "Welcome to the family, let's do life together and love on others" seems to just be a way of life for them. We were invited to serve in The Western, a cafe in the church, after our Sunday night services. We get to chat with newcomers, serve them coffee/hors douvers (sp?), and clean up. It's honestly such a great place to serve and personally is stretching me. I have learned so much in the brief time of being in this culture. I am becoming more aware of what I want my attitude to be towards others and what I want my life to look like in service to others.

Well that's it for now. We still have a checklist of things to do while here. See a koala bear, surf at least once, hike the Blue Mountains, box a kangaroo, drive a motorcycle, and get Keith Urban's autograph. Ok, mainly that is my list, I don't know what Ashley's looks like.

We appreciate all the prayers, words of encouragement, and love we get from you.

Much love to all of you!

-Jasper

doubt: a feeling of uncertainty or lack of conviction

So I have yet to write since moving to Australia. I have been waiting for some clever idea to come to me,  the forming of a mind-blowing "top 10" list, or at the very least a memorable story or experience.  Nothing has come to me though. So for now I will share what's been on my mind.

This move to Australia has been amazing. I know this word is thrown around and has lost meaning in our culture. But let me try to grasp at what I mean. Amazing for me is wrapped in vast emotions. Something amazing is more than just a cool experience. Something amazing, for me, is something that changes my life. It's so outside of my normal realm of experiences  that it alters my perspective and causes a shift in the way I want to approach this life. So this life transition has been "amazing".

Allow me the grace to try and put into words a few of the thoughts that have been forming within me. They come from personal study, the teaching of others, and the daily routine of life. Thoughts have the potential to control our view of self, our ideas of God, and our sense of purpose. I believe our thoughts should always be challenged, expanding, and evolving with time. I don't think the same way I use to when I was 6, or 15, or even 21.  They are shaping my views of God and sharpening my relationship with Him.

I have been studying through 1 Peter in my quiet time. Peter is writing to Christians who have been exiled from their land. They've been cast out from their homelands and forced to live as aliens in a new land. His letter is one of hope, God's faithfulness, and of the calling we have in Jesus Christ. I  couldn't get past verse 2 of the first chapter for almost a week. It drew me in and spoke so clearly into my own life. It begins like this, "according to the foreknowledge of God the Father, in the sanctification of the Spirit, for the obedience to Jesus Christ..." and then I just stop. Breathe it in. Then I read it again, "God the Father knew you and chose you long ago, and His Spirit made you holy. As a result, you have obeyed Him...". I breathe in. I let it begin to sink into my  heart. There is so much in  this one verse. How does this not excite anyone who is following after Jesus? How does this not excite those who know the grace of God? Listen to this one more time, "God the Father has His eye on each of you, and has determined by the work of the Spirit to keep you obedient through the sacrifice of Jesus." Breathe that in again and again and again.

Although I felt that God was speaking clearly to me in my time with Him,  this past week I began to seriously question and doubt our move to Australia. I began to question why we are here and why I felt called here. I started to question if God is, in fact, faithful to those who are His children. It's been difficult. Everything that we've always thought were easily accessible necessities no longer are.  Examples would be having a car, A/C in the house, and internet at home (or the ability to easily find it at a cafe). The new normal is changing every day. So my faith began to give, my doubt began to grow, and my questioning of where God is  was constant. Here's the best part though, 1 Peter 1:2, "according to the foreknowledge of God the Father". I just want to shout that out! "Yes God! Yes!"

This small phrase holds so much truth within it. One, God knows where He has called me. He knows the life He has asked me to leave and the life He is wanting me to step into. He knows it all. He has been working in it. He has been preparing this work for us- for me. It hits me like a ton of bricks. My doubt, my lack of faith, my worry, to what avail is it? God already, long before I felt His leading, was at work in what He called me to in this season of life. You really could just stop there and it be enough, and yet there is so much more reassurance to be had in this verse. Two, God is our Father. Before we even get into the work Jesus Christ has done on our behalf God shows us who He is. Our Father. I never worried about food growing up. I never wondered if my parents would take care of me. They always did. My dad always provided for my daily needs. I have God as my heavenly Father doing the exact same for me now. I hear His voice, "Jasper I called you out into this life, I am your Father, trust me." I am floored. How can I justify my doubt or lack of faith? I can't. There is no justification to be found in my self- absorbed lack of faith. I could keep going, but I would be writing well into the night.

God has shown me His faithfulness. In my lowest point of doubt and despair He showed up in a very real way. He never allows His children to go through more than they can handle. He never allows us to completely lose faith in His sovereignty. He is our Father. He is our Pappa. So I'm not sure if the lessons I learn here will be the ones that I set out to learn.  Maybe this season of life that Ashley and I are walking through is to teach me this; God my Father is a faithful God and has called us out to live for Him. I constantly hear the Spirit whisper, "Trust me. Lean on me. Allow me to be your provider. I am a good Father who loves you."


-Jasper


"These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold - though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world."

- 1 Peter 1:7